Senkha & Llew: February 27

Sènkha is lying silently, covers drawn up as usual, though they're slightly mussed, as if someone was lying beside her.

Wheaton enters the back room quietly. His already heavy heart sinks further to see Senkha exactly the same. He leans over to gently straighten the wrinkled blankets.

Sènkha 's leg braces squeak at the slightest movement of the bed, though she's still lying there silently and peacefully. The bruises have cleared up from her face; she may as well just be sleeping.

Wheaton kneels down at Senkha's bedside and stretches over the top of it a bit to grasp at one of her hands with both of his. For the longest time he simply watches her face, still and serene.

As Llew settles there, he lets out the heaviest sigh. He draws her hand toward him and leans closer until his cheek is on the bed. He shifts her hand carefully until her palm is covering the portion of his face that is not against the bed; the eye that is now scarred and eyeless. He doesn't say a word outloud. But there is plenty running through his head.
I miss you. I love you. I'm so glad you're okay. Please wake up soon. Please wake up soon.

She doesn't respond to any of this outwardly, but oddly, he'd hear her voice in his head--groggy, tired, like she's just waking up from a long nap. "Llew?"

He sighs quietly at the sound of her voice. A residual memory from what feels like such a long time ago. He grips her hand gently and presses his face into it. "I miss you," he says again in his head. Even the tone of his thoughts are heavy.

A sense of amusement and sadness, like she really -wants- to wake up but just can't. The sense that she'd be holding his hand if she could. "I miss you, too. I'm sorry about your eye. Oliver told me about it."

He carries his own feelings of sadness and doubt with him, only these aren't misplaced imprints stamped upon him by other parties. These fears and pains are of his own doing. Such as yet he does not realize this is really happening; he assumes he's projecting. "It's okay, babygirl," he says gently, tiredly. "I have a spare."

Sènkha is being held, at least in part, by Llew. She looks like she's just down for an afternoon nap.

Mariius eases himself into the back room a few minutes later. He finds himself standing near the foot of Senkha's bed, offering Wheaton a quiet glance.
Mariius says: ... Howso has she progressed.

Wheaton is stretched across the side of the bed with his face mostly hidden under Senkha's hand. He draws back at the sound of the voice and looks up tired.
Wheaton says: She.. certainly looks better..
Wheaton says this wearily, quietly. He looks back to his cousin and reaches out to stroke her hair.

Mariius says: -Her mind? Oliver?

"Llew, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

Wheaton looks back to Marius with a shake of his head and a shrug. "I... has she been talking?" He totally has no idea. But he pauses as a voice sounds. "Babygirl?" He looks down at Senkha, as if expecting to see her awake.

Sènkha is completely and totally motionless; she even goes so far as to sigh in her sleep.

Mariius says: I don't know. After returning, I was in repair for some time-- And this past week, have been fighting to get things back to normal, and to save our stray Sigil. These conflicts have come to a close, now-- At least in part. I cannot heal, yet, and have left her in the care of your fellows.

Wheaton keeps his eyes on Senkha though he is speaking to Marius. "I'll.. I'll have one of them contact you then, I .. I don't know anything. I'm sorry."

Mariius says: It's alright. I'd appreciate an update, when there is time. For now, it is good that she remains here.

Senkha is trying -so hard- to wake up, but it's just not happening. Something's blocking it. As it is, she simply comments, "That sounds like Marius. I can't Cast. Light, I wish I could Cast..."

Wheaton nods at that and looks to Marius again. He offers a small smile. "Thanks for giving her a safe place. I really appreciate it. I'm sure everyon--" He pauses again, looking back at the woman on the bed.

Mariius nods quietly

Wheaton leans closer to Senkha. "Sennie? Sennie, can you hear me?"

The sleepiness returns, along with a sense of amusement. What, isn't this normal? "Of course I can. I didn't realize you'd learned to do this."

Wheaton hovers there over her, brow furrowed heavily. The confusion that was in him on his arrival has shifted a little. The sound of her voice has calmed his other fears, but roused a new uncertainty. "Do what?... I ..." He squeezes her hand and stops talking aloud. Instead, he thinks: "You can hear me?"

"-Yes-. I didn't know that you could do this, too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised...you're the one who taught me to sneak around, after all." A sense of warmth from her, fondness.

Wheaton's hand extends to gently stroke over her hair again. "I.. you can really hear me?" There is such relief in his voice. Everything about him calms significantly. His smile lifts. "Light.. Sennie.. how are you?"

Senkha doesn't respond at all physically; outwardly, they may as well not even be conversing. Inwardly, though, she's beyond happy to hear from him. "Tired...I wish I could wake up. She won't let me, though." After a beat. "How are you?"

Llew thinks his own issues maybe aren't all that important now. He gently grips her hand. "I'm still alive . . . who won't let you wake up?"

Itzhal's laugh sounds from somewhere far away. "-Her-. My mind's badly broken, Llew. It's getting better...she's fixed nearly all of the damage my mother did. It's a lot of stuff, really." She seems reluctant to admit that it may still be a while.

He certainly knows that laugh. And somewhere deep inside him something stirs in response to it. The ripple is momentary, however. Llew leans forward to kiss her forehead. "Yeah. Well. Yer ma was some kinda hosebeast."

"She was. But she's gone now." She clearly doesn't want to talk much about what's going on in her mind; whatever it is, it makes her uncomfortable. "How are you?" she repeats the question, a sense of comfort moving towards him.

Part of him thinks it's time to draw back and let her rest; let her fix herself and not have to worry about anyone else's issues. But the other part of him responds to that comforting feeling that is so familiar. A soft, wavering sigh shakes out of him. "I'm just so happy that you're getting better, babygirl," he whispers. "So happy."

"Promised I would, didn't I?" Senkha seems amused by everyone's pleasure that she's getting well. "Oliver said it's been a week that I've been asleep."

"Yeah," he says gently. His smile lifts as he strokes her hair. "Is it cozy in there?"

She's still reluctant. "It's lonely. Oliver's here, sometimes, but it's lonely."

"I'm sorry, Sen. I would've come talk to you before now if I knew I could."

"I didn't even know you could. Did someone teach you to do this?" This is a much more cheerful topic of conversation than Senkha's health, so she pounces on it.

"Um.. I guess... you did.. just now?" He chuckles quietly. "I thought for a second you were awake."
"I wish I was." Once again, she changes the topic. "How's your girl? Bryn, right? Is she okay?"

"Bryn. Yeah.. she's, uh. She's alright. Slowly being inducted into the Llew Wheaton Hate Club, I think." Another small chuckle.

"How so? Llew, you did tell her before you ran off to find me, didn't you?"

" .... mm... which time." Subject skirter.

"Llew." He'd get the impression that she badly wants to be staring him down. "What did you do."

"Nothin'... technically.. there's just this girl in town that I, uh... y'know." Light, it's like talking to his own mother. If she were staring at him, he'd certainly be shrinking in her gaze.

"Did you cheat on her?!" Senkha is disappoint. Please tell me you didn't cheat on her, Llew, that would not be okay.

"No, no. Of course I didn't. No." His jaw tightens, however. Came too close too doing it for comfort though. That discomfort is palpable.

Senkha backtracks some; he would get the sense that if she could, she'd be curled up in his lap, like she did when she was younger. "Tell me about the other girl. What's she like?"

"Sid is.. well. Sid is Sid. She's got her own ship, her own crew. She's loud and crass and fuckin' gorgeous. And I've known her since she was a kid. Long time."

"Do you love her?"

Llew sighs. "I do. It's never somethin' I considered really though because all these years she always said she didn't want nothin' like that.. then she found out about Bryn and the next thing I know.. she's tellin' me she's loved me since she was a girl." If he could curl around her right now, he certaily would. "And I told Bryn what she said.. fuckin' stupid move on my part."

"Yes, yes it was." An inward sigh. "Are you -in- love with her? With Sid, I mean."

"I don't-- yeah, I. I guess. I--" He stops. His confusion is obvious. "I'm startin' to wonder if I even know what that feels like. I can't stop thinkin' about her. I can't stand the thought of not bein' near her.. or of another man near her. It never used to bother me. But now? It's drivin' me crazy."

"You've never had to deal with the possibility of losing her before. You could always assume she would be there and it'd be true. Only now... well, what do you feel for Bryn? The same way?" There's no judgment here; if anything, she's trying to help him sort through his own feelings.

"I just wanna take care of that girl. So bad. I want to make sure she's safe and that she's always got food and a warm place, and I want her to always feel like sombody loves her. An' I told her I'd do that for her. I wanna do that for her."

"It sounds like you want to adopt her."

He lets out a slight grunt. "Ain't like she's some little stray kitten I picked up off the street . . ." Except it totally is.

"How did you start sleeping with Bryn? How old is she?"

And this is where things get a bit painful for him. "She's nineteen... she, uh... I was tryin' to keep my hands off her but she just.. " He can't even finish that thought aloud. Except he forgets they aren't talking aloud: "She was practically begging for it. Just puttin' herself in my lap and takin' off her clothes. Fuck," he sighs.

"Tell me more about her. Have you met her father?" If she could, Senkha would be resting her head on Llew's shoulder, but as it is, she's simply resting and letting him know she's there.

"She's an orphan. She grew up in the streets back in Gilneas. She don't know anything about her parents except they're dead."

"Did anyone raise her at all, or did she raise herself?"

"She got caught up with some gang... they made her do all kinna shit. Were real bad to 'er.. it's taken a lot for her just to get close to me, y'know.. and sometimes she still flinches, or cringes when I touch her.. breaks my heart." He quiets a little, the sense of him drawing nearer to her grows.

Psychologist Senkha may as well be writing things down; as it is, she simply inwardly sighs again; he'd have the sense of arms around him. "It sounds like she doesn't know how to tell the difference between a father's love and a lover's love."

This is not what he wants to hear. He already sort of knew it for himself, but it sounds so much worse coming from Senkha. "And I don't know where to draw the line."

She'd kiss him on the temple if she could; everything she says is said with love, gentleness, and understanding. "You're like me. You want to be loved, so drawing the line is hard. It just feels -so good- to have someone love you, someone be that for you that you don't know when to say when, even when it might be for the best."

Tears really sting at his eye. His heart clenches up uncomfortably. God, Senkha, make the big lug cry. :( Yet again she's right. She knows him too well. "I don't want to hurt her," he says weakly. "I want to make sure she's happy and safe."

"Tell me more about Bryn. I don't know her at all. She's obviously young; has she ever been with a man before?"

He gives a small shrug. "I don't know for sure. A lot of stuff's happened to her. I think I might be the only one, but it isn't something we've ever talked about."

"It'd probably really break her heart if you broke things off, but at this point...it might hurt her more if you stay. Still..." More inward reluctance, though this time accompanied by a laugh. "You don't want to leave her just because of Sid. That's not the real problem here."

"No, it isn't. The problem is I'm an asshole." He frowns deeply. He's really never felt this strongly about any woman before. Ever. Not even close.

A fondness and a warmth towards him. "Well, yeah. You are. Kind of. But that's not the real problem, honestly. Llew, don't hate me, but...honestly, I think that if you just run into Sid's arms after this, it'll end in disaster. Why do you two keep moving away from each other?"

"Because she's just like me. She wants what she can't have. She takes what she shouldn't." She's just like me.

"So it sounds like, no matter how strongly you feel for her, she might be the worst person for you. Once you two have each other...sure, it'll be great for a little while, but what happens once you're used to it?"

He leans over against her, relaxing, though it's more of a defeated slump. "You're absolutely right. We'd just end up hurting each other. And probably on purpose.. "

"I'm not saying never, Llew. I'm just saying...you know. For now. Until she grows up. Until you grow up. Who knows, she may be made for you as much as Oliver is made for me." Another brush of her lips against his temple. "But not right now."

If ever he needed to be held by someone, it'd be now. He wraps around her so tight and lets out another sigh. "You're right.. just like always." He smiles. "When did you become the adult in this relationship, anyway? Y'went and grew up on me too fast."

"Blame motherhood. And being kidnapped and tortured and...yeah. That. But...Llew, listen to me. You are wonderful as you are. You're my cousin. I love you so much. You don't -need- a woman on your arm to be perfect to me."

"I know," he says gently. "I'm just tired of always bein' alone."

He'd actually -feel- a nudge in his side, as if she's woken up and is elbowing him. "You're not alone. You've got me. You've got friends. You've got family. You have a -home-, Llew."

His smile is small, but it is full of love. He presses his forehead carefully against her temple. "I love you, kid," he whispers.

She tries so hard to smile. SO hard. All that happens is that her chest rises and falls rhythmically. "I love you, too, Llew. Always will."

He kisses her temple and slowly draws away. "Get yer rest then, babygirl. So when I get back you're strong and can give me a hug for real, alright?"

She's suddenly remembered how tired she is and is fading fast. "I will. Will do. Llew...try to wake up soon...l-love you..." And she's out like a light. Somewhere, Itzhal is doing -something-, but it's unclear what.

Wheaton draws back from Senkha's bed with a small sigh. He rises from his knees, but bends over her one last time, placing a kiss to her head. He lingers there a moment, stroking her hair, and then exits her room in silence.