Sunday, February 6, 2011

Mairèad, Nialos, & Bryn: February 5

Mairèad looks up at the ledge and frowns slightly. She then climbs the ledge, poking the air every couple of seconds as if trying to find something invisible.

Nialos says: He ain't there, lass.

Mairèad says: Whaddyoo know 'bout it.
Mairèad sounds far too defensive and a bit choked.

Nialos says: ... Well. I'm his grandfather. And I took over his shift.
Nialos says: So. A lot, I would think.

Mairèad says: I know 'oo y'are.
Mairèad says: Sometimes, 'e 'ides up 'ere so 'e kin watch people wivvout 'em watchin' 'im.

Nialos says: Well, that's not going to be happening. Not for a time, anyway.

Mairèad 's shoulders sag in defeat when her routine produces absolutely no effects. She looks about ready to stalk off or do something otherwise dramatic, but instead just sits where she is, drawing her knees up to her chest.

Nialos continues sorting the mail, like always. "He's not exactly in a chipper mood. Then again, by lookin' at you, you seem to be in the same slump."

Mairèad rests her forehead on her wrists, sniffling slightly, but just slightly. " 's'my fault," she admits, though she doesn't cop to anything else.

Nialos says: Yeah, it is.
Nialos says: But.
Nialos says: He ain't the most 'social' thing around.
Nialos says: You're both at fault, really.

Mairèad shakes her head, still resting it against her wrists. "Tha' wouldn' be a problem if I 'adn' been a dumbarse an' fell in love wiff 'im. An' then gone an'...I don' e'en know what I did."
Mairèad says: Jest that 'e wun' stop sayin' mem'ries all night an' 'e was rill angry.

Nialos says: Hm.
Nialos says: He has mentioned that.

Mairèad says: Menshuned what?

Nialos says: The memory thing.

Mairèad looks up and stiffens slightly. Deader at nine o'clock. She doesn't move, though. " 'e r'members erryfin'. Not jest kinna like 'e's gotta rill good mem'ry, but like 'e don' ferget th'way fin's smell an' taste an' feel."

Nialos says: Mmhm.
Nialos says: Pretty crazy stuff.

Mairèad says: Good an' bad fin's. An' sumfin' I did t'ovver night made 'im go through all that all overrrr agin.

Nialos says: He opened up a little this morning. Wasn't pretty.

Mairèad lifts just her eyes above her arms. " 'e din' like th' puzzle box, did 'e?"

Nialos says: Hasn't even touched it.
Nialos says: He's still a little... off. Only stops muttering to himself every few hours.

Mairèad buries her face in her arms again with a heavy sigh. "I dunno what I did, but I wish I could take it all back. I din' wanna 'urt 'im. I wan'ed 'im t'know that 'e dun' 'afta be alone."

Nialos says: Well.
Nialos says: He is alone.
Nialos says: Can you honestly think of another who can relate to what he goes through?
Nialos says: The lad is in a class of his own, and he knows it. But he's still living his life the best he can. Still tryin' to run forwards.

Mairèad looks up at the deader blandly. "Kin you name many more pirate-privateers wiff Dads what try t'git in their pants?" she asks. " 'e said it 'imself. Jest 'cause summun kin't relate ezzackly dun' mean they kin't 'elp."

Nialos says: ... Actually.
Nialos says: I can kind of name about.. four.
Nialos taps his noggin. "You live as long as I, and you see some strange things."

Mairèad says: Well still. Jest 'cause people kin't completely emperthize dun' mean 'e 'as t'be completely alone.

Nialos says: Alright, let me ask you some questions, then. If you could remember everything, even the bad, would you want to socialize often?

Mairèad makes an irritated sound. " 'A course not. Ent sayin' 'e's gotta be th'life 'a the party 'r nuffin'."

Nialos says: No, but that's what you're doing to him.
Nialos says: You're putting him in a place he doesn't want to be.

Mairèad says: Well I know that -now-.

Nialos says: Yes. Now.
Nialos says: How long have you known him?

Mairèad scowls. " 'pparen'ly not long 'nuff. Look, I kep' akskin' 'im if 'e wan'ed me t'leave 'im alone an' 'e always said no."

Nialos says: You're taking it the wrong way, lass.
Nialos says: He let you stay. That's good. But is that love?
Nialos says: Or is that just him being nice?

Mairèad says: Nevarrr thought i' was love.

Nialos says: I'm not so sure.
Nialos says: Clearly, there's -something- going on there.

Mairèad says: I knew 'e wun' ready an' I wen' a'ead an' pushed i' anyway 'cause 'e kep' sayin' 'e 'ad no time.

Nialos says: Ah. So you were selfish.
Nialos says: Annnd... you did exactly what he was afraid of.

Mairèad doesn't deny it, though she still scowls. "An' stupid," she adds.
Mairèad says: What, fell in love wiff 'im?

Nialos says: Pushed too far.

Mairèad says: Yahar, I know that.

Nialos says: How old are you, lass?

Mairèad says: Eighteen. Yahar. I know. Too young.

Nialos says: Very.
Nialos says: You don't know a damn thing about love.

Mairèad says: Got me 'ole life t'meet summun better'n 'im.

Nialos says: Well, with the way you go about it, you may have a hard time.

Mairèad says: An' didjoo know 'e's a wergin an' could infect me? Oh, an' didjoo know 'e kin't gimme what 'm lookin' fer?

Nialos says: You seem to move... very fast, lass. Faster than you're able.
Nialos says: A relationship, or love for that matter, doesn't just... happen. It has to grow for both parties. It has to be mutual.
Nialos says: As you said, you're young. Plenty of time.

Mairèad huffs and pulls her knees closer to her chest. "Yahar, kinna figgered that out after this bein' th'second time in two weeks this's 'appened. 'Least I din' destroy a -lifelong- friendship this time, jest one tha' 'pparen'ly din' mean much t'begin wiff."

Nialos says: Didn't mean much?
Nialos blinks at you.
Nialos says: ... Lass.
Nialos says: You're dumb as a sack of rocks.
Nialos says: For your notions of love, you certainly didn't take the time to really listen and see what he did.

Mairèad says: I -sawr- what 'e did. An' I -know- i' 'urt 'im bad 'cause mebbe 'e gave a damn'r sumfin', I dunno.

Nialos says: That's the thing, you don't know.
Nialos says: He's... well. He's a social idiot.
Nialos says: The fact he even let you -that- close is pretty... well. That's probably a long shot for most.

Mairèad says: 's'what Bryn keeps sayin', but I wen' an' threw it all 'way.

Nialos says: Well, maybe you should stop listening to others, and listen to yourself.
Nialos says: Do you think he's the type of guy who would appreciate a relationship?

Mairèad sighs and buries her face in her arms again, shaking her head. "If I listen'd t'meself righ' now, you'd be on fire," she mutters, almost inaudibly..

Nialos shrugs.

Mairèad says: 'e coulda! I din' wanna do it righ' then 'cause I knew 'e's gotta lotta shit t'werk through!

Nialos says: And yet you did anyway.

Mairèad says: But 'e kep' sayin' onleh ten years, 'e's gunna die in ten years, an' yahar, I panicked. I got skeerd an' I panicked.

Nialos says: Understandable.
Nialos says: The life of a soldier is rough. Can die at any moment.
Nialos says: With the current affair, ten years is generous.
Nialos says: But lass, you moved into position and struck regardless. Ten years is still a long time.
Nialos says: As I said, you move far, far too quickly.

Mairèad shakes her head. " 'e kep' sayin' 'e was gunna be brain-damaged too much t'be recunnizebull 'afore then."

Nialos says: And he's also young. Do you think he can tell the future?

Mairèad says: An' I'll 'ave you know, I waited three years 'afore doin' anyfin' wiff Chad an' i' still din' work.

Nialos says: Oh, wow. Three years.

Mairèad says: Tha's a sixth 'a me life!
Mairèad says: I ent -dead-. I don' got that -luxury-.

Nialos says: ... Lass.
Nialos says: Eighteen. Seventy.
Nialos says: Who do you think has more knowledge about this?

Mairèad says: Ent sayin' I know be'er jest thatcher talkin' like summun what's gunna be 'round ferever.

Nialos says: No, I'm talking like an adult who has seen, and done, more than you.

Mairèad says: 'ow long'djoo wait fer Alma, then? Ten years? Twenny?
Mairèad says: 'ow old were you? Fitty? Sixty-five?

Nialos holds a hand up. "I was thirty when we finally got married."
Nialos says: Even then, it took her nearly a decade to work through -my- wall of idiocy.

Mairèad says: An' 'ow long'djoo know 'er 'afore then?

Nialos says: About a year or so.

Mairèad says: So. Y'say three years ent long 'nuff, butchoo onleh knew 'er fer one.

Nialos says: You make the mistake of assuming we're the same.

Mairèad says: Still.

Nialos says: See, until she made me propose, I never really thought of her in that way. She was just a really close, special friend.
Nialos says: So. We were 'really friendly' with each other for ten. Years.

Mairèad makes an irritated sound in the back of her throat. "Tha' sounds fermilyer. Y'know I woulda waited. I wan'ed to. I jest panicked. Wiff Shep an' wiff Chad. 'Cause Imma idjit."

Nialos says: You are, yeah.
Nialos says: But all young people are.

Mairèad says: You sound like Mr. MacGlynn.
Mairèad says: All "young people're dumb, young people're dumb."
Mairèad says: -'e's- dumb.
Mairèad is not bitter. Nope.

Nialos says: Well. Is he the one lashing out like a young brat?

Mairèad scowls. "Ent a brat."

Nialos says: You kind of are.
Nialos says: You're so angry and bitter over something like this at the age of -eighteen-.

Mairèad says: No I ent! An' I ent bitter, jest angry a' meself fer bein' stupid. Twice. In two weeks.

Nialos says: Big whoop.
Nialos says: You're gonna do a lot of stupid things. Might as well get used to it.

Mairèad says: Ent yer friends y'lost.

Nialos says: Oh, so you know my life?

Mairèad says: Do you even -'ave- friends?

Nialos says: Quite a few, actually. Even have a daughter.

Mairèad says: Oh yahar. Shep's auntie, righ'? Th' one 'oo's married 'a Mr. MacGlynn, an' they gotta retard daughter.

Nialos says: Mhm.
Nialos smiles. "Such a happy family."
Nialos says: But.
Nialos says: You're doing what most young children do. You're trying to outdo the other's pain in an effort to justify how you are acting.

Mairèad sighs heavily, angrily, and scuffs her heel against the wall. "Ent actin' no way speshal. Jest nevarrr done this 'afore an' ent sure Imma do it agin."
Mairèad says: Y'know whatchoo do onna high seas? Y'don' fall in love, y'jest do stuff.

Nialos says: That so? Not how I saw it.

Mairèad says: Lots an' lotsa stuff. An' I thought I could to be'er'n that.

Nialos says: I mean, you're here, ain't ya?

Mairèad says: Am na'.

Nialos says: So, you're willing to just throw everything away because of two boys.
Nialos smirks. "What part of that isn't childish again?"

Mairèad says: -No-. Jest do fin's diff'rnt. Like not boys. Or mebbe not love.

Nialos says: Point stands.

Mairèad says: Does not.

Nialos says: Now you're just trying to lock the pain away. Kill the origins.

Bryn waves.

Nialos blinks at Bryn.

Mairèad looks down at Bryn and says, in the most mature whine, "Bryn, th'deader's bein' mean t'me. Kin I set 'im on fire?"

Nialos says: ... Bryn, eh?

Bryn frowns, "Mister Garrrrhelm 's nevah mean. Wot 'e do?"

Nialos says: I'm telling her to stop acting like a child.

Mairèad says: 'e said I'm dumb.

Nialos says: You are.

Mairèad says: Am not.

Bryn says: ... Why?

Mairèad says: 'Cause I'm dumb.
Mairèad is so logical it hurts. She knows.

Nialos nods. "See?"

Bryn says: Mair what did'ye-- okay now 'yer confusin' me.

Nialos says: Now. You said you listened to Bryn, yeah?

Bryn is getting annoyed and matches Mair's whining tone, "Wooot 's 'appeniiing?"

Mairèad just glares at the deader as if trying to set him on fire with her -mind-.

Nialos finally sighs, and shoots a stern, fatherly glare right back at Mairead. "Lass. Stop it."

Bryn is so confused.

Mairèad keeps glaring, though minus the mind fire.

Bryn says: Mair stoppit. Don't be mean t' Mister Garrrhelm.

Nialos says: Now. Miss... Bryn? She says she listened to you.

Mairèad says: 'e was mean t'me first!

Nialos says: Child. Hush.

Bryn says: Wot did she listen to? I 'ave a bad track record wiff advice as of late.

Nialos says: Really.
Nialos eyes you up and down.
Nialos says: So. You listened to someone with a bad track record.

Mairèad is hushing stubbornly.

Nialos says: Right then.

Bryn says: Mair wot did you do?

Nialos says: Bryn? I am going to make a request.

Bryn says: 'm so confused!
Bryn says: Wot?
Bryn blinks at you.

Nialos says: Shut the hell up.

Mairèad says: I din' know she 'ad a bad track record when I listen'd to 'er.

Nialos says: And don't offer advice.

Bryn says: ...

Mairèad hushes again.

Bryn says: Wot did I doooo?

Nialos says: At least, not to her.
Nialos nods at you.

Mairèad says: -I- was the one what did shit t'mess fin's up. Jest -me-. Not Bryn. I din' 'afta listen to 'er, but I did, like a idjit, so don' yell at 'er.

Nialos says: Y'see, she apparently can't think for herself, or panics too easily.
Nialos says: It's not yelling. Now sit. Down.
Nialos says: And hush.

Mairèad stamps her foot. "I do not panic too easily! Yer exaggeratin'!"

Bryn says: Someone pleeaase tell me wot bad advice did I give?

Nialos says: Relationships.

Bryn says: I only told 'er t'kiss Chad. Nuffin' abou' Shep.

Nialos says: Yes, but that kind of sets off a chain reaction.

Bryn lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.
Bryn says: So 's all me fault inna end?

Nialos says: No. You just play a role.

Bryn covers her face with her palm.

Nialos says: You're all equally at fault. Stop trying to take the burden all on yourselves.

Mairèad says: Bryn din' do anyfin' an' neither did Shep, okie? Was all -me- bein' stupid, not them.
Mairèad says: ...an' Chad, but 'e's retarded.

Bryn says: Rilly retarded.

Nialos says: You're -all- retarded.
Nialos says: Light's sake, are any of you over the age of twenty-one?

Mairèad says: Llew is.
Mairèad says: 'e's older.

Nialos says: ... Llew doesn't count.
Nialos says: Out of you, Shepard, Chadley and Bryn.
Nialos says: Are any of you. Over twenty-one.

Bryn says: Um... innit Chad twenny-two?

Mairèad says: Jest twenny.

Bryn says: ... Oh.

Nialos says: Right. So you're all young, stupid and inexperienced.

Mairèad says: An' yer dead.

Nialos says: Yeah, I am. Anything else you want to add beyond that?

Bryn says: Shaddup Mair tha' ain't th' point.

Nialos says: I'm dead, congratulations. You can see, hear and smell.

Mairèad says: Jest sayin' y'obvyusly don' got all the answers if yer dumb 'nuff t'git dead an' undead.

Nialos says: So I chose this.
Nialos says: That's news to me.

Mairèad says: Din' say that.

Nialos says: Then choose your words carefully.

Mairèad says: I did.

Bryn shifts uncomfortably, eyeing Nialos nervously. She doesn't have anything to do with this part, man!

Mairèad is a very mean person deep, deep down inside.

Nialos says: So, let's walk through this.
Nialos says: I died. I'm brought back, against my will, and that's my fault or an insult to my intelligence, wisdom and experience.

Mairèad says: Obvyusly. If you 'ad all the answers, y'wouldn' be dead, wouldjoo? I don' fink I got all the answers, jest thatchoo don' neither.

Nialos says: So, I am a god who can control my fate.

Mairèad says: Y'coulda avoided gittin' dead. Lotsa people do it.

Nialos says: Well, gee.
Nialos says: I only did that for... a few decades or so.

You clap for Nialos, clearly unimpressed.

Bryn says: Mair. -Rilly- ent th'fing t'argue abou'. Mebbe we could get back t'me bein' retarded a' people advice?

Nialos says: No, let her.

Bryn lets out a long, drawn-out sigh.

Nialos folds his arms. "Because so far, this is entertaining. She's lashing out, like a child, and trying to belittle my own life."

Mairèad narrows her eyes at the deader. "Y'ent in a position t'act superyer's what 'm sayin'."

Nialos says: Well, I'm certainly older. Pretty sure I know a little more about life than you do.
Nialos says: But, no. Let my status as a walking corpse toss all that out the window.

Mairèad says: Whoop-de-doo. Congratchulashuns on that'un. You an' errybody else.

Nialos shrugs. "Maybe so. But tell me. Take away the undeath, and what's left?"

Mairèad says: A jerk.
Mairèad says: What don' smell's bad.

Nialos says: An old jerk.

Mairèad says: Y'wanna medal?

Nialos says: Nah, they just clutter up the armor.

Mairèad just scowls and folds her arms across her chest. "An' what makes y'fink thatchoo tol' me anyfin' t'day what I din' a'ready know."

Nialos is just staring at Mairead. "For starters, I haven't even -scratched- the surface. Your little tantrum kind of ruined that."

Mairèad says: So go 'head! Scratch th'surface an' jest tell me erryfin' y'know, since obvyusly, y'know erryfin' 'bout me, consid'rin' y'met me -twice-.

Bryn says: Uh, Mister Garrrhelm mebbe 's ain't a good time t'do this.
Bryn looks to Mair, "C'mon Mair..."

Mairèad stubbornly stays put. "No, 'e finks 'e knows 'bout me, let 'im tell me what 'm like. Must be nice t'be a all-knowin' oracle. Could be useful onna ship."

Nialos cracks his knuckles and rolls his shoulders. "Let me see..."

Bryn sits herself down, and sighs again. This will take a while.

Nialos says: You have a certain attraction to social idiots. Judging by the time you waited to tell Chadley about this, you fear ruining whatever you have and don't like to take chances unless you're spurred into it, by say, another person.
Nialos says: Or, in Shepard's case, by fear.
Nialos says: Your entire basis is founded on fear and feelings of ruination.
Nialos says: You're young, vulernable, and don't want to feel that type of pain.
Nialos says: Now, going by how long you've longed for Chadley, I'll wager you don't have many relationships under your belt.
Nialos says: Meaning Shepard's rejection probably hurt far more than it would others with -more- experience.
Nialos says: And now, you're here, bemoaning your 'terrible skills' and 'luck', when this is a very, very normal part of growing up.
Nialos says: You want to get anywhere with a relationship? Listen to your heart. Take chances. But don't let another influence that decision.
Nialos says: If it doesn't work? You move on.
Nialos says: That. Is. Life.

Bryn winces. Below the belt, man.

Nialos says: It's filled with pain and hard work. But if you just run away, you'll never grow beyond it.
Nialos says: You keep charging towards the finish line until there's nothing left.

Mairèad watches silently until she's sure he's done and finally asks, "Anyfin' else?"

Nialos coughs into his fist. "Just getting started."

Bryn says: Mister Garrrhelm--

Nialos says: Don't compare your pain to another so easily. Just as I know nothing of your life, you know nothing of another's.

Mairèad says: Oh. Brilliant.

Bryn pipes in quietly but goes silent.

Mairèad folds her arms across her chest and shifts her weight.

Nialos says: You want to help them? Listen. Talk. Be patient. Plenty of time in the world.
Nialos says: Keep. A cool. Head.
Nialos says: Sure, you're probably hurting. You're probably afraid of what may or may not happen.
Nialos says: But the future is uncertain. People are uncertain.
Nialos says: The only way you're going to go forward is if you realize this and embrace it.
Nialos says: And another thing? If you're going to take advice on relationships, take it from someone who has had experience. Not some young little thing.
Nialos eyes Bryn up and down.
Nialos says: ... Even if her intentions were honest.

Bryn winces.

Nialos says: Finally, stop acting like a damn child everytime something doesn't work out for you.

Bryn looks down at her lap.

Nialos says: You pick up the pieces, repair what you can, and just walk along the road. Otherwise you're just feeling sorry for yourself.
Nialos says: Sure. I'm undead. An abomination against life. But I -have- done this dance before.

Mairèad taps her fingers on her arm. "That all?"

Nialos shrugs. "For now."

Mairèad says: Good.
Mairèad turns around and, with about as much dignity as she can muster, walks away silently.

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