Senkha approaches with the courage of a brave thing that is brave. This all dissipates in seconds when she sees Nialos; her carefully-prepared speech dissolves into a weak, "Daddy?"
Nialos slowly looks up from his book -- and it's totally a book -- and glances to Senkha. His sagging features betray the obvious: he's tired. "Hey there, dear."
Senkha approaches, chewing on her lower lip, almost to the point of it being bloody. "Can we walk and talk?"
Nialos quietly shuts the book, tapping the spine against the ledge. "Sure," he answers, tossing the novel down onto the mailbox.
Senkha reaches out to take Nialos' hand. "Not far. Just... somewhere quieter."
Nialos stares at the hand. There's very little emotion as he takes it. Not even a smile. "Alright."
Senkha squeezes gently and leads the way.
Senkha sits, gesturing for Nialos to do the same. "I've... had an interesting week. And I've realized that being my father must be more than hell on you. Especially lately."
Nialos shrugs, his gaze wandering around the surrounding area. "Just another day, dear," he mutters. The usual warmth is gone from his voice.
Senkha shakes her head. "That's just it. Some... things happened. I've realized that everyone I love and have grown to love this past year, I've been killing. I've hurt you with everything I've done. And that knowledge kills me."
Nialos says: To be fair, I haven't been the best father- at all, actually.
Senkha says: But you have! Dad, you've been better to me than anyone has. Simply because I've made stupid decisions doesn't make you a bad father! If anything, it means you were... unlucky. You chose a girl for a daughter who was already damaged beyond repair.
Senkha says: You're the only reason I feel I'm worth anything. You care enough to tell me to -stop- when I'm doing something stupid and to hurt me for my own good, not because you're a sadist or interested in indulging my masochism.
Nialos lowers his head. "Senkha, a father should be capable of helping his daughter beyond simple pep talks. A father should be capable of saving his child." The Lichfire eye dims, almost as if it symbolize how weak he feels. "I couldn't do that with William, and..."
Nialos says: I haven't been able to as much I should have for you.
Senkha gets down off of her bench and kneels in front of Nialos. She looks like she's pleading with him. How pathetic. "You -have- saved me, Dad. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to fall. I won't let myself leave grace so far behind that you have to do to me what you did to William. I'm -not him-."
Nialos regards Senkha with a heavy dose of uncertainty. "...I'm sorry," he whispers. "But I don't know if I can believe that."
Senkha closes her eyes; the amount of pain showing on her face is immeasurable. Her hands are shaking, and it takes her a while to gather her thoughts. "You once told me something. You told me that parenthood is pain. That it's fighting. That it doesn't stop."
Senkha says: But you said, too, that you don't. Give. Up.
Senkha says: Daddy, please... -please- don't g-give up on me.
Nialos hides his face away, burying it deep within his palms. The elderly Knight shudders, shoulders sagging. "I'm- tired, Senkha. I'm just... tired. Tired of fighting, tired of losing everything. -Everyone-." His arms drop down to his sides.
Nialos says: ...I'm tired of being the last one standing.
Senkha moves so that she's sitting on the bench and, without asking if this is at all okay, wraps her arms around Nialos' shoulders, pulling him close. She's crying, but it's quiet and still. "You don't have to carry that load alone. Please... I want to help you. I've wanted to help you carry all these burdens for so long, but you never said a word. You only ran. Daddy, please... stop running. Please st-stay. Please."
Nialos let's his head fall to rest on Senkha; whatever strength was left in him has completely vanished. "...I just want it to end, Senkha. I want my heart back - I want my strength back." He bites back a sob. "I want my Alma back. She'd- she'd know... she'd tell me how to get through this..."
Senkha holds Nialos tightly against her. Her hands are still shaking. "We'll find her. I will find her for you. It's the least I can do for you, Dad. I... we'll find her. We will. You'll have her again."
Nialos inhales -- certainly out of habit -- before he actively shivers against Senkha. "I want to believe it... I really do."
Senkha continues to hold onto her father as if she's afraid he'll fall away if she lets go. She rests her cheek against his head. "But after so many heartbreaks, you can't help but think that things will never change," she says quietly.
Senkha closes her eyes and clenches her jaw a moment before asking, "What do you -want- to do?"
Nialos admits quietly: "I'm... I. Want to die."
Senkha winces at this. Barely audibly, she admits, "Me too," though she cleverly attempts to cover this up by asking, even more painfully, "Do you think it's time? Do you think it's time for you to rest?"
Nialos says: It has been my time for so very, very long, Senkha. But I'm still here.
Senkha 's eyes remain closed, though she presses a kiss to Nialos' head. "If that's what you want..." She pauses and swallows a sob, trying to keep this to pretty tears and a quiet voice. "If that's what you want, then I... could-help-you." The last words are so mechanical that she may as well be a robot. There's no less pain in them for their mechanical nature.
Nialos slowly shakes his head, and for the whatever reason, the runes along his blade pulsate. "It's been my time, Senkha, but." He stares her dead in the eyes. "You wouldn't do it. And I wouldn't want you to."
Senkha can't help but let out a shaky breath of relief because she -really- did not want to do that. "Then please... -please-. I don't want you to suffer like this. Tell me what I can do. Let me help you somehow."
Nialos drops his head back against Senkha, sighing. "Just- please." The runeblade hums for a split-second, runes flashing to life. Then everything grows dull and quiet. "... Stop being an idiot. Please."
Senkha laughs, in spite of herself, and it comes out all messy and gross. "They say, don't they, that admitting you have a problem is the first step? I've been doing a lot of that this week." After a beat, she adds, "I am so sorry, Dad. For everything, for the hell I've been putting you through, for not saying this earlier. I could never hope that you'd be able to forgive me."
Nialos 's lips tug into a smile. It's a start. "I've a perfect track record when it comes to forgiveness, dear."
Senkha hugs Nialos tightly again, letting out a quiet sob, though she's laughing too. Emotions, how do they fucking work. "I love you, Daddy. Please... please don't want to die. Let me bear some of the load, too. Let Oliver. You don't have to carry the world on your shoulders alone. And... besides, what happens when we find Alma and you haven't waited for her?"
Nialos says: To be completely honest.
Nialos says: I hadn't thought that through.
Nialos manages a weak laugh. "Let Shepard take the helm, now. He's old enough - hell, he's all but becoming me."
Senkha says: ...no wonder he looked so drawn today. I heard a rumor, by the way, passing through the square earlier, that he's getting himself married. But... that's beside the point.
Senkha says: The point is that if you -didn't- wait for Alma, then I would, in fact, be an idiot and -master- necromancy, just so I could bring you back and let her slap you.
Senkha says: For the record.
Nialos deadpans. "... I'm pretty sure my corpse wouldn't like that. Nor me, for that matter. I'd punch you in the gut."
Senkha also deadpans. "In those circumstances and to allow Alma that chance, it'd be worth it."
Senkha says: Besides, I probably wouldn't be very good at it, so you'd likely come back as a mindless, albeit punchable, ghoul.
Nialos says: ...
Nialos says: Let's stop talking about necromancy.
Senkha says: Yeah that's a good idea.
Senkha says: ...you should know, though, before we do--I've no intention of following that course of study. All I've done is stop Oliver's body when he's going to hurt someone and mended it once. That's it. But that's all I will say about it.
Nialos grunts. "Right."
Senkha says: So. Aside from dying. What would you like to do?
Nialos says: ... Be alive?
Nialos says: Because it's going to be awfully hard to explain to my living wife why her husband is an undead killing machine.
Senkha says: "The Scourge sucks. But I'm here for ya, babe!"?
Senkha gives a thumbs-up?
Nialos says: ... She's slap me for the 'babe' comment.
Senkha says: What did you call her?
Nialos says: Love, dear, Alma, Decker on rare occasions...
Senkha says: ...Decker?
Nialos taps his patch. "Decker."
Senkha grins, wrapping her arms around Nialos' shoulders again. "So. The Scourge sucks, but I'm here for ya, Decker."
Nialos chuckles, forcing a smile. "I'd just want it to be perfect. And that'll take a miracle."
Senkha shrugs, shaking her head. "If it was me and Oliver, I wouldn't care about it being perfect. I'd just be happy to see him again. And I think Alma will be the same way."
Nialos says: ... I can hope, I guess.
Senkha says: When we find her, I'll make sure you know ahead of time so you can prepare something.
Nialos says: Mm. If you say so...
Senkha reaches down to squeeze Nialos' hand. "I just have a feeling that it'll happen really soon. And I will figure out a way to make it perfect for you."
Nialos says: A feeling, huh?
Nialos snorts. "What, got a contact with some higher being or something?"
Senkha chuckles. "Didn't you know? I have a ~sixth sense~ about this kind of thing. It's why I make a very good rogue."
Senkha says: Not a good mender. But a good rogue.
Nialos says: Well. At least one of my kids should be non-magical- to a degree.
Nialos says: Fuck magic.
Senkha says: Seriously. Fuck magic.
Senkha adds, after a beat, "...and the mind stuff isn't magic. For the record."
Nialos says: Eh, like I'd know... it's all mumbo-jumbo to me.
Nialos sighs. "The irony that I'm running on -- and use -- magic."
Senkha says: Life is full of ironies like that.
Nialos says: ... Let's go sit by the fountain. On Gilneas.
Nialos says: I kinda miss that thing.
Senkha says: Let's.
Senkha says: I do too. I've not been there in a long time.
Senkha says: ...besides tonight.
Nialos says: Well. Lead the way, dear. Your father needs a guide tonight.
Senkha rises and takes Nialos' arm. She holds onto him tightly and repeats, in a whisper, "I love you, Daddy."
Nialos hefts himself, smiling softly. "... I love you, too. My darling daughter."
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